Should I Try?
by THGfan12
Summary: Peeta Mellark hates what she had done. What he felt she had done. After ruining his life, she returns, broken and hopeless. And she expects him to pick up the pieces. He may still love her, but like the night he lost her, his emotions want to take control. He wonders if he should try again, try to win her over. Maybe he can try...or not... *Sequel to Who Is She'* FINALLY!
1. Chapter 1

**...**

**...**

**Peeta Mellark**

Well, to start off, I guess I should tell you the basics. My name is Peeta Mellark, I am twenty-two years old, and four years ago I made the biggest mistake of my life. Very few people know what it's like to fuck up so bad that you are absolutley sure that if things went the way they were supposed to without your emotions getting in the way, you would be much happier than you are at this moment.

The moment as you sit on your couch, just praying that something will change or that a time machine would fall from the sky and you would be able to leave your shitty life and start all over again.

I am doing somthing along those lines.

As of now, I am just sitting on my crappy brown couch, in my mostly empty living room, trying my best to annoy the crap out of my neighbors. How, you ask? I'm groaning loudly every thirty seconds in the hopes that they will kick me out before my lease is over. I shake my head and stand up and walk over to the fridge. I find it strange that I could be living in California with Finnick and Annie still, if only I happened to lose my hearing. If you do the math, it's obvious when you put together two newly engaged teenagers and their own room. It was too bad that they never happened to think about my spot in the equation.

What I happened to be was the lonely roomate that was completly depressed because he happened to lose the only girl he would ever like because he turned into a complete jackass when she tried to apoligize. That was quite the run on sentence... But anyways, that happened to be the entire description of me at that time. Though it is still the entire description, depressingly enough... I never told them that was the reason that I had left, I mean, what kind of friend would that. And not only would I ruin Annie's impression of me, but Finnick would laugh until he curled up onto the floor and died.

Sadly, I'm not joking.

Huffing I ran my fingers through my hair and tugged open the fridge, empty...What a surprise...

Sighing in exasperation I shuffle my feet across the carpet and make my way to my winter boots placed in a not so neatly way by the door and the coat rack. Tugging the socks out of the footwear I dress my feet and yank on my winter coat. I stomp my way down the hallway and make sure I "accidently" kick my neighbor's door, the guy is about my age except he actually goes to college, leading in him having raging parties all night long and have about three to four rounds a week. The guy is a total jackass.

After I kick his door I yell out an exaggerated 'oops' and smirk as I keep making my way down the hall. It's a good thing I locked my door before I left.

...

I blow a peice of hair out of my line of vision and walking into the safe and warm haven called the supermarket. "Hey Gabby!" I call to the girl that works at the first register, she waves at me as I make my way by her. She happens to go to college as well as the asshole that lives next to me, but she doesn't act like a huge slut like most college girls do. She wears a large pair of glasses and has a large amount of dark brown freckles spread around her nose and cheeks. Her hair is curly brown, but it's the type that can only be smooth if you straighten half to death. I only know this because Annie often blathered to me about this kind of crap while I would be half listening and half watching Breaking Bad.

Honestly, I don't understand how I am even able to remember what she had said, I guess my memory is just that great, lucky me... One thing that I have to admit that I hate the most, is the choice to not go to college. All thanks to her I fucked up my entire life. During my depression I refused to fill out any applications for any colleges. I could have easily gotten into any one of them, but now I have really no options, since I said no to my father over and over again he refuses to pay my tuition like he was going to.

Insisting, "I thought you didn't want to go to college." Then he would simply hang up on me, but most of the time he would just hang up when ever I tried to bring the subject up. Delly had been excepted to some college in Florida and was studying to be a doctor. Lucky her... She hadn't fallen in love with a girl that was too messed up in the head to love anyone. I roll my eyes and sigh, I can't not go two seconds without wallowing in self-pity.

...

After making my rounds around the store, I leave, go home, leave again and head to the local coffee shop. Clove told me she was in Boston because of Christmas in two weeks and I just rolled my eyes, This year she is going to bring Cato along with her. Apparently he isn't as coocoo as before and is able to function properly without threatening or punching people at least five times a day. Trying to feel happy for him and her isn't easy, I'm pretty sure you can guess why...

Running my fingers through my hair I wave at a hobo who happens to stand on the right side of that coffee shop almost everyday. We're pretty good friends if I do say so myself, mainly because I slip him a dollar bill whenever I can. Let's just say I'm his valued customer, or whatever. To be honest; I try not to care as much as I do.

But, I have to say that I have made at least one or two actual friends during my time living down here, or up here, because Boston, Massachusets happens to be close to the top but let's stop with the formalities.

One of those two friends is a guy named Harris who has electric blue hair (obviously dyed) and had multiple peircings on his face. The other is a guy I met through Harris, named Boggs, Boggs is a cool guy, serious most of the time but after a few drinks he can make you laugh until your voice box blows. It's as the saying goes, quality over quantity.

Steeping through the glass door of the coffee shop heat instantly over whelms me, but don't you worry, I am welcoming it with all I've got. I shrug off my coat and throw it on a seat of a booth and instantly plop down with it. So many happy memories of sitting here with absolutley no one. I grin cheesily and toy with my phone until I hear someone sit down across from me. The distinct sound of leather against leather, resulting in a fart sound. I hide my childish smile and look up, ready to question why Clove is wearing leather pants, when I see that Clove isn't the one weariung leather pants, nor is she alone.

I instantly frown and slouch in my seat. Clove rolls her eyes at me, "Peeta, you remember Cato." she states simply. I scoff, "Yeah, I know him real fucking well."

Cato just tries to not say anything, I can only tell because his fists are clenched and the table seems like it's a bit shorter than usual, probably because he's pressing too hard down onto it. "Okay, dumb thing to say. Maybe I should have said, 'Hey Peeta, I know you're poor as shit and are only living here because you're a coward! So how's life?'." I let out an exasperated sigh and just shake my head.

"Fine, sorry, I get it, I'm an asshole." I tell her defeatedly, she smirks and I just sneer. Her short black hair is tied up in a ponytail, resulting in most of it not actually being in the pony tail, she wears a leather jacket I got at a thrift store a few years ago and gave to her as a Christmas present, and jeans. I turn to Cato and ask, "Why on Earth are you wearing leather pants?" I say with a chuckle, he glares at me with those ice blue eyes I used to be so terrified of.  
"A matter of fact, they trap in my body heat. And you're one to talk, you happen to be wearing clothes that look like they haven't been washed in weeks." he replies. I just flip him off and stuff my phone in my pocket before I crush it...Goddamn shitty flip phones...

I crack my knuckles to ease the tense feeling welling within them before asking the million dollar question, "Is Katniss still in California?" they both blink at me. Shocked. I nearly blush, it would be fine if we were outside I would have an excuse but I don't now that I'm in the warmth of the coffee shop. Cato is surprisingly the first to clear his throat and mumble his answer.

"I asked everyone I knew in school, they say that haven't seen her since after the graduation ceremony..." I blink back tears at the statement. No one knows where she is, I absolutley cannot believe it. She could be dead... After what I said to her... She looked so broken that night and I didn't even care. I realized what she had meant by the physical pain she had been feeling as well, she had been hurting herself. "Um... Some people said they also hadn't seen Glimmer since then as well, they were pretty close on that day, I mean, maybe if we could figure out where Glimmer I-" Clove is cut off by Cato.

"Mellark, your place, now. I don't feel comfortable talking about this in public." he says. Clove and I nod at each other and we all leave and I am so goddamn happy that Clove has a car.

**...**

**...**

**OMG! SHE'S ALIVE!**

**I know, I know, I'm a horid person and I am as sorry as I can be. But guys... Freaking homework, my scary ass teacher, oral presentations every week! OMG! I hate it! I really REALLY do! I have missed talkign to you guys so much and yes, this is what it is, I hope you guys aren't too dissapointed, my mind has been overflowing with possibilities for all kinds of Fiction Press, I'm losing my obsession with the Hunger Games!**

**No, I'm not quitting, I can't say that I won't at a later time though. But, let's make a quick deal, if I try my hardest to up to five paragraphs a night, will you guys try your best to be patient? Okey-Dokey! I hope this wasn't too bad, but...**

**POOR PEETA! TALK ABOUT DEPRESSING! OMG! I'M SORRY!**

**But maybe I went a little over board with his attitude change, but don't worry, it's just the lack of Katniss getting to him. Don't you worry, I'll fix things up right quick! Love you all! So much LOVE!**

**-Meghan**


	2. Chapter 2

**Start of a new Chapter, I would say start of a new day as well. But it's actually kind of late soooo... Let's just start the Chapter.**

**...**

**...**

**Peeta Mellark**

I was sure to kick my neighbor's door again as Clove, Cato, and I walked down the hell to my apartment. The feeling of their curious stares on the back of my head at the action almost made me giggle a little bit, which was strange. What kind of man giggles exactly? Especially a twenty-two year old man. I was offically and legally a man, not just to family and firneds, but to society! Great.

Un-locking my apartment door, being the gentleman I am, I opened it wide and let them in ahead of myself. But, I was sure to clench my teeth, preparing myself for Clove's shrill scream at the state of living I was in.

Surprisingly enough, she didn't scream. When I finally walked in, the pairs' jaws were to the ground. "What!? It isn't that bad!" I said. Closing the door firmly behind me.

"What the hell do you mean, 'not that bad'!? This is worse than bad, this is horrifying! Oh my god!" Here was the scream. At least the door was closed, so the neighbors across the hall only heard the scream of a normal person. With a proper mental state. "Well...who knew Katniss could do this to a person..." Cato said firmly. I just shook my head and began to pick up the jeans that were strewn across most of my furniture. At least all of my boxers were in my room. Though, I really should have expected something like this to happen. My luck truly is the worst.

"Yeah, sorry. I wasn't really expecting you guys, or anyone else for that matter." I replied. "No crap!" Clove squaked and I just covered my ears asfter tossing a pile of clothes into the hamper that I didn't even know I had. "Just chill, we aren't here to talk about my bad habits, we are here t-!"

"Habit! Habit?!"

Cato shook his head, and I grinned a bit to myself, happy that someone agreed with me that Clove could take things a bit overboard from time to time. "Sit, please, so we can actually talk like civil human beings." Cato told Clove, she shot him a glare and crossed her arms over her chest. Promptly plopping down onto my recliner. Sure, just take my favorite seat. Why the heck not?!

"Okay, as I was saying back at the coffee shop. It's possible that if we find Glimmer, we can find Katniss. They were seen together the entire day of graduation. I was thinking that we could possibly call up Katniss' little sister. Finnick and Annie might know a few things too. They're all still in California. But, maybe not Finnick, we all know how helpful he can be in these situations."

"Clove, I still know Finnick pretty well. He seems knid of busy these days. Didn't you know that Annie is pregnant?" I asked them gently. Clove's jaw was at the floor, Cato just had a look of shock in his eyes and had to blink a few times to get it to go away. "No, I didn't know that. Maybe you should come back with us for a while Peeta! We can do some digging and everything!"

I shook my head. "It's obvious that Katniss isn't still there. Honestly, I know that she hated California. It was most likely all the meories. She might be up here actually. You know, trying to get the farthest away from the place she hated without leaving the country."

Cato nodded, "I know for a fact that Katniss hated California. She usually talked about that kind of stuff when she thought I was either asleep or when I didn't take my medication. Honestly, she was more in pain than I was to tell you the truth." I shuddered physically, remembering what the doctor had told me always made my chest hurt. Even though I wasn't sure whether or not I still loved Katniss, but some sort of feeling was still there. It made me a bit sick.

"This question is kind of off topic, but where are you guys staying?"

"Oh, we booked a hotel a couple of blocks from here. Our stuff is just sittng there right now." Clove replied. I nodded, "I just wanted to know. If you guys don't mind, let's head over there later on and call Finnick and Annie. Just to figure out what's going on uo there. I would use my cell but, I may or may not have forgotten to pay the bill this month."

Clove gave me a look, saying 'You're kidding me, right?'

I just gave her a sheepish grin and she huffed before nodding. Cato just blinked.

...

About three hours later, we were at the hotel. The phone was on speaker and I was waiting to hear the voice I was hoping to hear. Finnick never checked caller I.D. he answered to everyone and everything. Not caring, ever.

"Hello!" Finnick's cheery voice called, I kept back my sigh.

"Hey, Finnick. Um, you'll never guess who I'm with right now..."

I could practically hear him grinning. "Who?"

"Cato and Clove."

"Really?!" he screamed, and thank god it was on speaker phone and not against my ear. Clove had a hand over her mouth and was holding back her laughter. Cato was just shaking his head.

"Yeah, really. We have a bit of a plan that we think ypu might be interested in." I said, trying to catch his attention. Which wasn't very hard.

"Oh really? You're asking your genius best friend, Finnick Odair, for help?" I sighed. He was going to make me do this again, wasn't he.

"Yes, I beg of you oh great Finnick Odair. Please help me with my plan." I said duly. He 'hmm'd' and Clove was slamming a pillow on her face, having the hardest time holding in her laughter. Cato was actually smiling.

"I accept. Now, what is this plan of yours? Does it have anything to do with a grey eyed beauty that dissapeared four years ago?"

"You guessed it."

His voice changed to the one he used when he was serious. Which made me smile, since barely anyone but Annie and I had heard.

"Okay, spill."

"Well, we all know that Katniss spent her last day in our presence with Glimmer. So, we are thinking that if we can find Glimmer, we will find Katniss. But, the problem is that we don't know Glimmers actual first name and that we can't talk to Katniss' therapist about where he thinks she might have gone because it's illegal for him to tell us those knid of things. We also know, that Katniss is probably in the area I am living in. She would want to get as far from California as possible without leaving the country."

I took a deep breath, tired from saying so many words in one statement.

"Peeta, I know that you were the last person to talk to her that night. I can't believe that after all of these years, you still believed that we didn't hear you guys yelling at one another."

I froze, Cato's glare that I couldn't see but I could feel, was making me shudder at the intensity. I swallowed thickly to try to brush of the feeling. It wasn't working.

"Yeah."

"Peeta, we might be able to understand a bit better if you told me what exactly you said to each other."

That memory made my chest hurt. The hatred that I had felt burning in my chest at her presence, the hurt. Her tears, I clenched my eyes shut, not wanting to cry like I had for so many years. "Finnick, I-I can't, I ju-!"

"You just what? What Peeta, you don't want us to find her? If you can't at least tell us what happened, there isn't much of a chance we will find anything."

My eyes burned with unshed tears. Those were so close to the words I had spit at her that night. To think that it was all my fault that she wasn't here and that she wasn't happy. It hurt so much.

_"You didn't mean to hurt me, that's it Katniss? You didn't mean to! That doesn't change the fact that you fucking did! I am sick and tired of all of the shit and emotions you have given me! Such painful garbage that I shouldn't even care about! So, what is it, you just what?" _

"It hurts...Finnick, I hurt her so much! I screamed so many accusations at her! I made her cry! I didn't mean to. It's all my fault! It's always been my fault. If I had just let her talk to me, I wouldn't be in this situation!"

Tears dripped down my cheeks and I angrily wiped them away with the back of my hand. Clove put her hand on my shoulder, trying to comfort me, which actually helped. I hadn't had anyone there for me these past four years. It makes me wonder, if I had talked to her nicely, would we be married right now? Would we be happy? I don't even know if she is still alive. What if she commited suicide because of everything I did to her. I knew she had been hurting herself... Who knows how far she was ever willing to take it...

_"I was hurt too! I was hurt everyday from leaving you! But I thought it was best! I didn't think it mattered! I didn't think I had mattered to you! Crying was all I did at night as just looking at you as you smiled and laughed with your friends hurt so much! That's why I kept doing it, you didn't seem to mind that I was ignoring you. But it hurt so bad thinking that you were fine without me! I was trying to heal but at the same time I was hurting myself, in both ways..." _

"Okay, Peeta. Just try, okay? I know that you can get it out."

I took a shakey breath and ran my fingers through my hair. "Okay, I'll try to start from the beggining..."

**FlashBack**

_Clicking is cut off by a different clicking and I lean forward and open my eyes, staring at the ground. This clicking is surprisingly familiar. Too familiar. Digging the heels of my hands into my eyes I look up and my mouth goes slack. My jaw hanging down slightly as I stare at the person in front of me. She has actually approached me... Why? Swallowing thickly I close my mouth tightly, fighting away the sneer coming to my face. Until she gave me an explanation I wouldn't forgive her, even though my heart was begging for me to grab her and yank her into my arms, even if she didn't want it, just to hold her warm body against mine one last time. But, my mind told me to stay mad at her, that she didn't deserve my forgiveness._

_Her beautiful grey eyes looked down at me before sweeping away to stare down at the ground, the embarrasement showed on her cheeks, they stayed bright red against her tan skin. Even though I was angry at her I couldn't help but find her absolutley adorable at this moment. She had filled out only a bit more, her development physically hadn't been much of my concern while were apart, but her development mentally was a big deal to me._

_She looked over me not so secretly and I somehow felt glad that she was raking her eyes over me like this. But I stomped on the feeling multiple times before licking my dry lips and looking her straight into the her eyes. To get her attention on me. She looks up at me, her gorgeous grey eyes boring into mine, but they look... they look different..._

_They had a sad look to them and they also look empty. She bites her lower lip, clasping her hands together behind her back. I absolutley hate how doubtful and lonely she looks, standing in front of me, waiting for me to say something to her. But, all I really want to do is press a kiss to her plump pink lips that I haven't felt in so long. I touch the spot on the couch beside me gently, telling her to sit down silently. She nods slowly and I move my hand so she can take a seat._

_She clasps her hands together in her lap, staring at them intently. Not looking at me purposely. It's slightly frustrating but right now I'm basking in her presence. Just her being beside me is fine for now, though. I had a feeling that me being fine wouldn't last much longer. I watched as she reached up and began to twist her hair around her index finger. It was nervous habit that I had noticed she had always done, even when she did have contact with me and by her own choice talked to me. It was like on our first and only date, but she wore a braid. Now her gorgeous hair was flowing down her back in gentle waves. I wished I could run my own fingers through it like I had seen her do when she had gotten frustrated or tired. _

_I could only remember how soft it was._

_"Katniss, why are you here?" I didn't mean for it to come out so cold and mean but I guess it was just the hurt and anger I had been feeling toward her for the past two years. But deep down my love was still strong, even though it wasn't hitting me like it usually would. I guess touching her might make it better but I'm not planning on crossing any lines. 'I-I...uh, I guess I wanted to...talk to...you?" she said, the statement coming out more like a question. Her voice was shakey and nervous as she tried to push the words out and I felt bad that I had been so cold to her, I couldn't believe myself, I was feeling bad for her because she had ignored me. I loved this girl and I'm pretty sure she knew it so she dumped me out on the street. Only figuratively speaking._

_"Why? Katniss, why? There is no reason to bother yourself with talking to me anymore. Just go away if you're just going to crush my heart with your heavy combat boots some more. I don't want you to hurt me anymore than you already have." Nothing coming out of my mouth during this conversation were words I wanted to say to her. There was no control over my mouth. _

_All I could think about was the hurt and anger I felt towards her. Though my hearts needs sat in the back of my mind as my emotions got out of control. "Peeta, I'm sorry...b-but I am in the same way not sorry. But besides that, I went through the exact same thing. You weren't the only one hurting." she responded apoligetically. _

_"No. What I would much rather hear is why you didn't talk to me. It's been two years Katniss since you have said a word to me! I am sick of sitting down pondering what the fuck I did to make you ignore me for TWO STRAIGHT YEARS!" Honestly I seriously felt terrible after I saw the look on her face but I just sat back, letting her think over the words I had spewd at her. But she just seemed slightly scared. Terrified even._

_"Peeta, I never meant to hurt you like that, I jus-!" I cut her off before she could finish. Anger was blazing in my eyes as I stood up from the couch and began to pace in front of her as I spoke. "You didn't mean to hurt me, that's it Katniss? You didn't mean to! That doesn't change the fact that it fucking did! I am sick and tired of all of the shit and emotions you have goven me! Such painfuly garbage that I shouldn't even care about! So, what is it, you just what?" I asked. Her lower lip trembled, but her eyes weren't teary like I expected them to be. They were angry just like mine._

_But I felt this odd satisfaction, yelling at her, showing her how angry I was. Hurting her like she hurt me. It was a strange feeling that I wasn't accustomed to at all. I wasn't liking it either._

_"I was hurt too! I was hurt everyday from leaving you! But I thought it was best! I didn't think it mattered! I didn't think I had mattered to you! Crying was all I did at night as just looking at you as you smiled and laughed with your friends hurt so much! That's why I kept doing it, you didn't seem to mind that I was ignoring you. But it hurt so bad thinking that you were fine without me! I was trying to heal but at the same time I was hurting myself, in both ways..." she let out and froze at the last few words she let out. I didn't notice at first, I just yelled straight back at her._

_"Maybe you should have told me it was because you wanted to get better! This whole conversation wouldn't have ever happened! You didn't need to ignore me so you could get fixed! I would have waited! But now it's too late. We're all going off on our own after August, we're all leaving. Maybe only some of us but most for college! You have no more time to explain yourself to me Katniss, your time to let me forgive you for what you did has run out! I'm leaving too Katniss, far far away! Hopefully so I'll never see you again." The anger had dissapeared as I watched her eyes quickly well up with tears and they began to fly down her cheeks. I had broken the dam and now here I was, looking like the biggest asshole in the world, staring down at the girl I had just made cry. _

_I wanted to cry. She looked up at me as her lower lip trembled, "You don't really mean that, do you?" she asked, her voice strained by trying not to cry but failing miserably. I swallow thickly and bite my lower lip, not knwing what to say even though the answer is pretty obvious. I bend down so I can be her height while she's sitting and grab her hands. Her longsleeve shirt covering half of them, I move it up a little just so I can twine my fingers through hers. Trying to calm her down. Moving my thumb so it brushes against the side of her hand. She sniffs and I release one of her hands so she can wipe away her tears with the sleeve of her shirt. I sigh, "Katniss, I-" she cuts me off this time by pulling her hands away from mine and moving over so she can stand up. I stand up as well._

_"Peeta, you're right, I was an idiot for ignoring you and leaving you like that. I'm sorry, I really, really am. I promise, you'll never see me again." she somehow escapes me as I try to grab her with my arms so I can explain myself, but she runs off and climbs into her car so she can take off. I swallowed hard, resiting my own urge to cry. Oh My God, I just did the exact opposite of what I have wanted to do since she started ignoring me. I badly want to cry right now, so damn badly but all I do is put my face in my hands and let out a loud and highly obnoxious groan of frustration at myself. My stupid emotions took control of me and I have literally screwed myself over. Running my fingers through my hair I go inside to act like Katniss was never even here and get drunk so no one knows how I really feel about the whole situation or how I feel like shit._

_It happens and unlike I wanted, it turns out that I wouldn't be seeing Katniss Everdeen again for a long time._

...

Cato was holding me up by the neck of my shirt and he had nothing but raw anger in his expression, tears were rushing down my cheeks. "How could you do that to here?! You're such an asshole! She wanted to reconcile with you and you just rubbed all of her mistakes in her face! I should rip your stupid little head from your body Mellark. But, I happen to know that I might as well be killing Katniss if she would ever hear that I did something so cruel after being fixed. Unlike you, I care about her." he growled.

I just took it, as he screamed at me about what an asshole I was. That Katniss might be dead because of me.

Sobs racked my body. I just want to see her again, her beautiful grey eyes filled with so much happiness. With a bright smile on her face. I want to see her beautiful face again. So I can tell her I love. It's so clear to me know, in a way that I never knew it could be before. Soon I passed out. After all that transpired, I just wanted to get away from it all. Just for a few moments. Just to dream of Katniss. Over and over again until I though it was reality.

**...**

**...**

**I am the person who takes you pen and never gives it back, I'm the person who mumbles and says 'nevermind' when you ask what I just said, I am the person who eats the last cookie. Yup, that's me! **

**Honestly, I am so sorry! I have so many fiction press stories I am making Chapters for. But GUESS WHAT?! I haven't posted even one Chapter, even though I have like, ten. Anime has also taken over my entire life. Nope, I am not talking about Naruto or Pokemon or that crap. I'm talking about the kinds that make me sob and laugh my ass off. But truly, it's helped, I have so many more friends this year. I am being nicer and who knew that being nice could make you so happy? This asshole didn't! But honestly, I am trying to catch up and stop being so stingy with updates.**

**And hey! If you ever feel like watch an anime and taking a go! I have some suggestions! I won't include any that are kind of repetative so you guys don't get pissed if you try it out. **

**Let me rant for a second before I start. Why the fuck do they stop the animes at the worst times! WHY? THEN YOU REFUSE TO CONTINUE AND MAKE ME BUY THE MANGA! THAT SHIT IS BACKWARDS, LITERALLY. YOU HAVE TO READ THEM BACKWARDS! I JUST WANT TO ENJOY MY VAMPIRE KNIGHT WITHOUT HAVING TO PAY TWELVE BUCKS FOR A TINY BOOK THAT GOES BACKWARDS!**

**Done. Okay, one of these is only available in subtitles, I'll tell you. If you don't care, skip. But, I need to talk to someone about this stuff when my anime buds aren't around. I'll also say if they make you cry or not. **

**1. Vampire Knight- Romance/Action- no nudity, really stereotypical but awesome in it's own way, no tears- English Available**

**2. Black Butler- Action/Mystery- makes me support man on man action, which isn't included, it's super funny in my opinion though, no tears-English Available**

**3. Baccano- Supernatural/Historical Fiction- so many accents! no tears- English Available**

**4. Toradora- Romance/Humor- so many fucking tears- Only Subtitled**

**5. Clannad S 1 + 2- Romance/Humor- I was nearly dehydrated from tears in the second season- English Available**

**6. Death Note- Mystery- almost cried at the end, the show is super intelligent and there are so man twists, awesome- English Available**

**Those are just the best in my opinion, just sayin'!**

**I porbably annoyed the crap out of you guys now though. The first three all ended on cliff hangers, but the first two are supposed to have a second season.**

**Love you all! I hope to be updating again soon!**

**-Meghan**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello! I hope that I finish this Chapter at a reasonable time, and I'm sorry about my strange blather of anime. None of you guys care about that, I guess it's just me and my friends that do. Just lettin gyou know, all of those friends are guy. Honestly, I only have on close friend that's a girl... Yup! Let's move on!**

**Here's Chapter 3! See you later!**

**-Meghan**

**...**

**...**

**Peeta Mellark**

When I managed to wake up again, I was still in the hotel room. But, I was on the floor. Not exactly the place I had been hoping for, but I guess it's kind of my own fault. Fainting and all that. Standing up on shakey legs, I rubbed my forehead as a pounding headache began to overcome me. Thanks, Cato.

The main reason that I was probably still here would most likely be because Clove had to make sure Cato didn't stomp on my head as I was unconcious. Which I was pretty thankful for, worth sleeping on the floor anyday. Something that I don't really understand is how people sleep on the floor and say it's comfortable. I salute you.

"Clove?" I called, the room empty. I heard the shower running, and not caring, I walked into the bathroom. Let's just say that Clove wasn't in there.

**Cato Shaun**

"What the fuck?!" blondie screamed and slammed the door behind him. I chuckled, feeling a bit better than I had last night. But, I have to say that the look on his face just made my day. Yawning, I turned off the water and wrapped a towel around my waist before leaving the bathroom. Clove had come back from downstairs and blondie was whining to her, saying that I should really use the shower curtain when it's provided.

Again, my day had been made.

**Peeta Mellark**

My day has been ruined.

Honestly, even if you close the door. You need to use the goddamn curtain! You never know when an asshole like me will come barge in on you! I mean, I know were both guys! But, he just tried to strangle me. Or..something along those lines. I couldn't really remember. But, that doesn't mean I have forgiven him. I am pissed! Pissed!

My headache only got worse after that experience, so now I had to walk home, alone. I hate my life.

I mean, you almost strangle a guy, then you flash your dick to him! You could at least give the guy a ride home! But noooo! No! Walk the fuck home and deal with it, asshole! Jeez, some people.

...

As I walked around through the city. I did a small amount of shopping. Knowing I wouldn't get mugged, I was pretty pissed at the moment anyways. If anything else were to happen to me, I would kick whoever caused it straight in the face. Right in the fucking face! Make them get the headache I had, and maybe a bit of head trauma.

"Jeez, Katniss. You would be laughing at me right now. I just know it." I mumbled to myself. Sighing and shaking my head, staring at my feet as I walked, instead of the people walking towards the direction I was leaving. I was thankful that I didn't bump into anyone.

This small victory only managed to last a few short moments and I ended up knocking myself and a guy straight onto his ass. I was happy that he hadn't had any friends with him. Otherwise I just turn into one of the High School fights that involved Cato. Who am I kidding? They all involved Cato.

"I am so sorry." I tell the guy. Standing up, thankful I hadn't crushed anything important in my bags. I reached my hand out for him to grab, which he ignored and stood up on his own.

He glared at me, blue eyes filled with annoyance. "You, you're my fuckin' asshole naighbor. You've scared multiple girls away from my apartment with your stupid noise. And the constant kicking of my door." he growled. I smirked.

"Oh, so you're the guy who's constantly having sex and making girls cry! I have been dying to meet you!" I replied, loud enough to let anyone who happened to be walking by know what this asshole did every single night.

He clenched his teeth, "You'd better fuckin' stop it. I'm not dealing with your shit for much longer." I rolled my eyes at the threat. Knowing that he couldn't do much of anything. The cops never come to our apartment, even if you call. The landlord is never home either. So, he is fresh out of options.

"Whatever, and, if you happen upon a girl with tan skin, grey eyes and the name Katniss. Tell me."

I tried to push by him, but he grabbed my wrist and pulled me back, now he was directly in my face and we could be having a bit of a brawl. "What business do you have with Katniss?" My eyes became wide, my jaw was at the floor. I didn't know that he actually knew anything about her. My reflexes took effect instanlty and I was holding him by his jacket and if only looks could kill.

"What do you know about her?" I asked insitently, almost desperatly. I knew how creepy I sounded and looked. But, I didn't really care at the moment. I wanted to knwo where the fell my Katniss was. The girl's heart that I tore to shreds right after she had done the same exact thing to mine. And boy, did I regret it.

"Like I'd tell you shit." he hissed. I was prepared to resort to violence, but I was going to give him a few more chances before it came to that. "If you've touched her, I swear to g-!" he cut me off before I could finish my threat.

"Fuck no, I'll tel ya' one thing. She's my cousin and there is no way I'm telling you shit." that was when my fist slammed into his face.

...

**Sarah Matthews**

"Kat, are you alright?" I ask gently, the look on her face was one I hadn't seen in such a long time. A look of pure sadness, along with fear. I shook her shoulder and she turned to me, her eyes wide.

"Let's go, now." I nodded and she had dissapeared, taking off in the opposite direction where we had been heading. Her brown hiar flying behind her. I looked to where her gaze had been focused. Seeing what I saw, I understood. And I took off after her before I went over and punched him in the face.

...

**Cato Shaun**

I yawned and held Clove's hand tightly as I navigated through traffic. I couldn't believe what I had heard, and Clove had to take the phone away before I died laughing to the police officer, I mean, I knew blondie was mad but...

This was just too funny!

"How do you think he got into a fight?" Clove asked, I burst into laughter yet again and she glared at me. I was pretty sure I looked deranged as I had one hand on the wheel and Iwas dying laughing as I held my girlfriends hand. Odair would die laughing by the scene, not because Peeta got arrested because he got into a fight with some guy on the street.

"You know, it really isn't funny Cato." Clove tried to tell me, but I just laughed harder, my eyes beginnign to water and I slammed my head onto the steering wheel as I got caught in a red light.

"I can't believe you." she pulled her hand from mine and I just continued to laugh my ass off.

...

"Thanks for the support, asshole!" Mellark yelled from inside his cell, as Clove was working with the cops, I made it my job to point and laugh at him as he was handcuffed to the steel cot.

I had stopped a long time ago, but seeing the bruise on his cheek and the angry look in his eyes as he called me an asshole. Priceless! I even took a picture!

"HAHAHA!" I leaned my head against the bars of the cell and didn't even bother to stiffle my laughter. The guy that sat on the bed on the wall opposite of him was another reason I was laughing. His eye was swollen shut. I'm pretty sure he learned how to do that after he watched me punch Odair in the face that one time.

"Your friends suck man." the stranger said, I was now on my knees and nearly dying of laughter and lack of air.

"Tell me about it. He's beat the shit out of me more than once."

"HAHAHA!"

"Cato! Get a life goddamn it!" Clove slapped the back of my head and I just continued to laugh.

She looked at Mellark with concern. "They're comin' to get you out. So, what was this about?" she asked him. Blondie number one rolled his eyes while blondie number two crossed his arms over his chest.

"What? No, 'Are you okay, cousin?' or 'Aw, you can punch Cato in the face if it'll make you feel better.' I mean, come on!" Ignoring the minor insult I continued to laugh without a care in the world.

Clove crossed her arms over her chest and replied, "Just tell me, so I can get Cato to shut up."

He sighed and closed his eyes, "Katniss."

With that one word, I was up and I snarled at the guy with the swollen eye. "Wht do you have to do with Katniss?" He glared at me with one eye and growled, "Why the hell does everyone know my cousin?!"

I blinked in shock, Katniss never told me that she had a cousin. "What's your name?" I asked, no one in the room had said her last name, so, the only way he wouldn't be lying would be if he had 'Everdeen' as a last name. Katniss' mother has no siblings, that's a fact that I know for sure.

"Gloss Everdeen." I ran my fingers through my hair and leaned back against the bars, I began to interrogate him a bit more.

"Where is Katniss?"

He glared harder and replied, "Like hell I'm telling you. You're all deranged assholes that have some weird interest in my cousin. Not sayin' anything."

...

_**Katniss Everdeen**_

_When the police called to ask if someone could pick up Gloss, I refused. There was no doubt that Peeta was there, he never wanted to see me. He'd said it himself. I looked at my wrists, the bright white scars across my wrists. Tears dripped down my cheeks. I dug my phone out of my pocket when I heard it ding._

_"Do you know a Peeta or a Cato?" it was from Gloss. This was so much worse, Cato was there too. If I were to show up. I might ruin all of what his therapy did to him, I might make him go crazy again. I didn't want that, ever. I promised myself that I wouldn't hurt anyone with my presence ever again. That was all I ever did. My existence ruined so many lives. So many people could have been better off without me._

_I quickly typed in, "Yes. But, don't tell them you have contact with me." after hitting send. I turned off the wretched thing and walked to my room. Locking the door behind me, I went into the bathroom attached to my room. I looked at myself in the mirror. I looked horrifying, there was something just so...empty about my look. About everything. _

_There had always been something missing. I knew what was missing, I had since I ruined the relationship we had six years ago. The contact that I had with him four years. Even though it was an argument, his face. So full of emotions, the anger on his features. The hatred and the sorrow. It was all my fault, I had caused so much pain in his heart. I wonder how he's been doing..._

_I wonder if he's dated anyone since I abandoned him. Squeezing my eyes shut to hide my tears, even though no one was here._

...

**Sarah Matthews**

Taking a deep breath, I push open the door to the police department. I quickly tell them my buisness here and a young male who keeps staring at me in a way that brings back bad memories. It's horrible, how confident I used to be, how I used to enjoy all of the lustful stares when I dressed like an absolute whore.

Shaking my head at myself, I began to brace myself for the looks from Peeta, he will be questioning me. I'll have to lie the entire way through. I've never been good at lying, and Katniss has been the only friend that could ever notice when she was lying or not, No other friend has been as trustworthy or understanding as Katniss had been.

He stopped before a group, I insantly froze. Peeta, Cato and Peeta's cousing Clove stood before me. One officer turning the key to open the small cell. I saw Gloss there, sitting on a cot with one of his eyes swollen shut. I sighed. I could tell that none of the group recognized me. My brown haired had grown out completly, not trace of blonde left. The only way they could recognize me would be by my eyes.

The look in them has changed, they used to be much more judgemental and angry. But now, they held a certain contentment. Love.

"Glimmer?" Cato surprised me by asking, as I wasn't used to being called that, it took me a while to turn to him. Staring me straight in the eyes, I was surprised to see the change in him as well. Almost everything about hiw whole demeanor was the complete opposite of what it had been.

I rubbed my eyes and nodded slowly. Peeta's had been released and Gloss had been as well, the officers gone. Not caring whether or not we would end up killing each other while they were gone.

"What?" I asked. Gloss rolled the one eye that was visible and I tried not to giggle. Knowing Gloss was pretty great, he got in many fights, as he went to college with me. But, they were never truly serious. Usually it was drunken fights that only happened when some guy tried to hit on the girl he was going to sleep with that night.

Peeta was of course the first to open his mouth, "Have you seen Katniss?" I noticed Gloss gripping his phone, he'd obviously texted Katniss. Though I wasn't sure how he managed to even get his phone out of his pants with hand cuffs on. I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair.

"No, I haven't talked to her for the last three years. I came home to my apartment one day and she had just left a note and that was it." I told him blankly, as if I didn't care. I was surprised when Cato grabbed my shoulders and glared at me. The crazed look in his eyes was back. The one that I recognized so well. "What do you mean 'that was it'? Do you not care?" he growled. Gloss shoved him away from me and I sighed in relief.

"No, I mean to say that I haven't had any contact with her since then. As I said, that was that." I responded nonchalantly, as I really did not car this time. Or because they were annoying me, they could take it any way they wanted to. As long as I know that I'm in control here, and that they remain oblivious. Easy.

Not really.

"Do you really mean that...she just left?" I looked over to Peeta, the broken look on his face made me want to tell him the truth. But, I knew I couldn't. Katniss told me how he had rejected her and refused to listen to her when she tried to explain why she had been ignoring him for that time. How angry he got, it was unimaginable. I just didn't understand why...

I nodded, "I don't know what happened, we'd been staying together for about a year. She hadn't given me any inclination that she would be leaving the day prior. I'm sorry. She told me about what happened between the two of you. I know that if she was here that she would say she's sorry."

"For what?" Peeta asked, his eyebrows lumped together. I shake my head, trying to be evasive, and because I don't know what to say. "Well, thanks Glimmer. Now we have a bit og an idea of where to look." I just nodded, before me and Gloss left the bulding. As soon as we were out of site, we made a mad dash for the car.

...

**Clove Mellark**

"Do you think she was telling the truth?" I asked Peeta as I backed out of the driveway. Cato had long given up his laughter. Which everyone on the planet was thankful for.

"No way. She sounded so sincere though. At least we know she's here and that Glimmer has some sort of contact with her. I knew from the beginning that she would have tried to cover herself up with lies. Though, I wish I'd been wrong..." Cato trailed off. Peeta's stare was blank for a few moments before responding with a simple,

"But, what if she had been telling the truth?" that point was compeltly possible. If she had been telling the truth, than we would have to look harder for her. She could be anywhere in the country. I pinched the bridge of my nose and shook my head, "This is so fucked..."

...

**Peeta Mellark**

I threw my jacket on my couch, I hadn't nothered to kick Gloss' door as I walked down the hall, I was way too confused. The real investigating could only happen if Finnick, Annie and Gale were here. Even though Gale had never seemed like much of a help, he was reliable when it came down to it.

But, Finnick and Annie would be tough. First of all, Christmas is in a few weeks, second, Annie's pregnant. I'm pretty sure that she is about four months. After Christmas, they're going to have a lot of preperation to do. I wouldn't want to screw them all up with their plans just because I desperatly want to find Katniss.

"What'll happen when I find her?" I thought aloud. Running my fingers through my hair I sighed. What is she hated me? That was something that I didn't even want to imagine. It was most likely the worst thing that could happen for me at this point. "Fuck..." I mumbled. Prssing my index fingers into my temples.

After a few hours of brooding, I ended up falling asleep.

...

**Johanna Mason**

After leaving Madge's house I went back to my place. Throwing my keys onto the first surface I could find and jogging to the air conditioner. Flipping the switch I plopped onto my couch. Madge and I became close friends after Katniss' so called 'dissapearance'.

I knew her reasons for leaving. I just wished she would have told me before taking off with Glimmer, I mean Sarah. Her cousin that lived up there was a bit of a man whore but apparently he was careful and kept his promises.

I had run into Finnick at the diner early this morning, he told me that Peeta was looking for Katniss, and asked if I knew anything about where she could be. Obviously I lied, but I knew that this would happen eventually. Katniss' cover would be blown and then she'd be brought back to the sunlight again.

**...**

**...**

**Was that good? Please tell me if it was! I would really like a bit of feedback for this Chapter. I know, it's kind of short but I'll try harder for you guys! I promise. Also, I think I'm just going to spontaneously start a series of oneshots on A Victor's Life.**

**As for A Grudge, I have not been able to write. It's so hard to do! I don't understand, I've rewritten the same Chapter about ten times already, I'm honestly sick of it. I think I might have to put it on Hiatus. I know, some people will be pissed...others.. not so much. But, I promise I'll try to get everything sorted up until then.**

**Love you guys, I'll talk to you later!**

**-Meghan**


End file.
